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Are You New at Having an Affair?
You need to take a look at yourself honestly before you even think of having an affair. Do other folks find you attractive? Can you handle the risks of your spouse finding out and the complications it will create at work and your social circles, and would you be able to handle the repercussions if you are discovered? Do you have both the fortitude and the time to cheat on your spouse? If you have not even thought about these issues, now is the time to evaluate and decide if you can handle the repercussions. Keep in mind that there are several parties that will be impacted by your decision - your spouse, yourself, and of course your kids if you have any.
Finding a potential lover is easier than you think. You can start with where you work or the gym where you work out, or where you shop for food, or where you go for books, or even where you worship, god forbid, pun intended... The important thing you have to remember would be to exclude friends and acquaintances that you share with your spouse or your families.
Once you have a prospect in mind, keep your cool and make sure that the other party is interested in you. It could be as simple as chatting with them and finding out what they like or don't like. Try to gauge if the other party is on the side of being discreet, meaning do they talk too much about things? If so, this is a risk. Try the next prospect.
If your prospect knows that you are married, don't despair, just exercise caution and be patient. Avoid being too aggressive. Try to develop a friendship first before you make a pass and making your intentions known. This is really similar to any courtship exercise you have done in the past when you were single.
On the other hand, if they do not know you are married, do not volunteer the information, genius! The idea is when you make the move, they might assume you are not tied up, hence might make it easier for you to get to the next stage.
When you are ready to make a move, remember that you cannot really be 100% percent sure that the other party is interested in a liaison or just flirting. The only way to find out for sure is to ask. You can look for clues first such as the way they talk to you, the way they look at you or even the way they touch you. It's not a perfect strategy trying to read peoples intentions but you will get better at it with practice.
If you start with casual touches and see the reactions to them, that is a good start. These reactions would either be total rejections or a warm reception to you. Take it further based on that.
If you crash and burn, don't sweat it. Just be courteous and nice and just apologize sincerely. Don't be an ass! Keep your cool and move on to the next prospect. This applies more to guys trying to find a potential lover, but can be applicable to women too. When it comes to finding a potential lover, women might have it easier than the guys of course.
If you luck out and find a willing partner, then it's time to manage expectations on both sides. Make it clear that it's really just for sex and nothing more. If you do this early in this illicit relationship, the odds are in your favor that you can execute an exit strategy with the minimum of complications later on. Good Luck!
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